Grandpa's Goin' Away for A While

The title has nothing to do with the post. Sorry if I was misleading.

Grandpa's fine. It's a line my father used on Thanksgiving after his father started coughing at the table, and it's been stuck in my head. Maybe it was all the uncontrollable howling after he wheeled him away. Poor grandpa. I say it all the time, old doesn't mean senile. The man has ears.

Though I guess when you go from a Nuclear Physicist to Depenz, it's pretty much all over.

Why do I love explosions again? In the blood? (I am the great, great niece of Ireland's most revolutionary leader as well, and a cousin of Tony Bennett, but whatever) Hmm. You learn something new everyday.

(*Cough. Add Louie DeLuigi to the list. Yes the sausage guy. I guess he was hit by a tractor trailer. Lawd, that's funny & I'm going to hell)

Anywho, this post is really about my delirious absence. I've spoken of this absence before. And here we are, not even December 1st & what I've already gotten myself into.....

This thing lights up at nigh, and it has windows made out of lollipops & butterscotch. It's outta control.

 

It hasn't even freakin' begun is the scariest part!!

I am a very crafty person, and I become very engulfed by my projects.

For at least one month in the winter with me, it's Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, like a goddamn crusade.

And then for at least one month in the spring, it's gardening, gardening, gardening, when I'm getting all my seeds in.

But every year, my dad would make me wait in total impatience for the day after Thanksgiving, and even as a wee one, I would throw on my Santa hat & start lugging all the shit up from the basement.

Now that I can do it my way, I've got my indoor garland lights up & one gingerbread house down already, and getting my tree(s) during the week. Sorry, dad. That rule was torture.

Christmas is a psychedelic, joyous fucking wonderland, and that simply doesn't last enough.

I don't even give a shit about presents. You got fn lights & chipmunks singing happy songs, falling from lollipop trees on strings & bright fn colors everywhere, people all happy with warm hearts & cookies & cake rolls & shit? We're. Good!!

So, in case I'm not posting for many days at a time, it's not because worms have eaten through my brain.

I'm just busy, high on Christmas crack. Still tweeting nearly everyday, though. Who has the strength to fight that addiction? I mean, c'mon.

Now I can't make any promises that you won't see much of me posting. I know, sucks for you.

Because if/when the urge & inspiration knocks me out of my X-mas coma, I'm headed straight here.

I'm sure as my seasonal run-ins with humor & disaster pick up, so will my posting, but right now the elves have me in lock down, vomiting cheer all over the walls.

I have to make trains & shit. Not because I'm being held at gunpoint, but because.........well, yes, the little people in pointy shoes living in my head are indeed holding me at gunpoint. "Make the train, bitch, or the reindeer gets it."

Can you see the disaster in store? The fate of X-mas lies on my nut sack.

I'm sorry, but that was so much so much better than shoulders. And now you've all seen mine, so I can never surprise you with it. F'n great