Epic Fail On the Consistency

I have failed miserably at being around & posting more & visiting blogs more, but it's not without good reason.

Ya see, my lovelies...... I spent over 5 years living day & night on a forum of seriously geeky folks who wanted to be hippies, though real hippies are quite different from what they were, and they did NOTHING, day in, day out, and when they finally did get together at a festival or whatever, it was so boring & messed up weird, you just wanted to shoot yourself in a state of "Is this really my life?" and it was for a long time, and I did NOTHING too.

This was conformity. at. its. absolute. worst and most stupid.
(And I know Kelly will be hanging his head in shame, but at least now he has an idea on why I'm even more of a radical than I ever was. In the end I would not conform to the corrupt & ridiculous conformity of lame assness. It took a long time to fully realize WTF I had been doing for all those years of my life. I live my life on my terms & morals, and I wasn't even living, at all.)

DO NOT DRINK THE KOOL-AID!

(That's not acid in there either!)

Now that I've gotten out of the trap, my senses go nuts over things; the smell of summer in the air, all the different things I can do in a day, all the different places I can go. I appreciate every little thing about life in ways that I could never see before.

You lose perspective of life. You lose YOURSELF, and you lose your life itself in that situation.

So, me and hanging out online too much have our issues.

I now love to travel to Florida on a whim. I love to garden all day & go out & about to fun & interesting places, and I love keeping myself busy, productive & happy. Before that trap I had an INCREDIBLE life, and I've been living to get that all back these days.

Moving on from that bullshit that's too lame to even continue mentioning, let me explain what the hell has been going on on my suburban FARM, so you can get some ideas on why the hell I haven't been blogging much.

Last year I spent weeks digging myself up gardens & experimenting with vegetables.

This is just one of my 5 vegetable boxes.

Squash, Zucchinis, and my plethora of Peas.

Turnips & Carrots fresh from the ground.

Black Beauty & mini Gretel Eggplants.

Trellaces of snap peas.

Carrots in abundance.

I also have 10 + giant pots on my deck in which I grow all my tomatoes,  bell peppers, jalapenos, strawberries, and herbs.

C'mon, I'm Italian. What do you expect? We're serious about our gardens, vegetables, and particularly our tomatoes.

I hold my beautiful Jalapenos just as dear. You wouldn't believe how many these pots grow.

I even grew corn, people! Fucking corn! This isn't Nebraska, or wherethefuckever!

Let me give you the list for this year of what the hell I've been working on planting & tilling & preparing.

• Zucchinis
• Black Beauty Eggplants (Aubergines & Courgettes according got Mr. B. ;~) You have to admit how much cooler those names are.
• Broccoli
• Cauliflower (both new additions this year)
• Snap Peas, Snow Peas, and Shelling Peas
• Garden Bush Beans
• Squash
• Corn
• Watermelons galore
• Canteloupes
• Butter Lettuce and Black Seeded Lettuce
• Asparagus
• Carrots
• Scallions
• Strawberries
• Cherry, Roma, Grape, Early Girl, and Beefsteak Tomatoes
• Green Bell, Yellow Bell, Red Bell, Jalapeno, Serano, and Pepperoncini Peppers
• Dill, Cilantro, Chives, Oregano, Basil, Parsley, Mint

This isn't even including my flowers & I left out Onions this year. I may start some Potatoes as well. 

So, you can see how busy I'm keeping myself just with that alone, not to even mention all the other things I've been doing, places I've been going, etc.

There is one thing about this year's gardens that separate it from the last.

That's right, pure cow shit. YUM!

NOW we're talking attack of the mutated, possibly homicidal vegetables. When they grow giant brains & start conspiring against me, I will let you know! When they break into my house & start drinking my tequila, the fucking war is ON!

Now, I'm not sure if you're familiar with the particular downfalls of gardening, but there's a general rule & that is "If you can grow it, some lil mutant shit insect can kill it in a day." I learned that the hard way. My two gigantic, fruiting Zucchini plants were wiped out in 24 hours by Squash Vine Borers, which dig their way into the the main stalk of the plant & eat it from the inside out, but if you think that's bad, meet my arch nemesis from Mars, the Tomato Horned Worm...

I'm not sure you can see the lil horn on its back, but these are the biggest, ugliest, nastiest things you'll ever lay your eyes on, and they disguise themselves as plant foliage, so they can devour entire tomato plants & strip them bare in just a few days. 

Moths come & lay eggs on the underside of the leaves & these creatures hatch from them & live on the plants. Then wasps come & infest the worms with their eggs & lil baby wasps hatch from their backs, killing the worms. Are you throwing up yet? Not yet? What if I told you these things move their mouths at you while they make some ungodly sound from outer space? And you have to dispose of them properly because if they get thrown into the soil, they overwinter in it & come back infesting everything.

So, as much as I wanted to continue going organic this year, I got me a big old bottle of Super Seven insecticide & there won't be shit eating my plants this year!

So, clearly I've been super busy and am trying to keep up with other blogs as much as possible & best as I can as well, but I think it's gonna take me some time to adjust & incorporate frequent blogging into my agenda. Nevertheless, I will get there. I love blogging way too much to just abandon it. Some seasons & some phases of life are just more busy than others.

But not only do I have all this being busy to focus on.....Now I have this shit to worry about too.
AGAIN, in case you don't remember the whole killer vegetables ordeal from a previous post.
The point is, now I have to worry about mutated vegetables uprooting in the middle of the night & possibly breaking into the house to kill me.

Shouldn't this be a survival guide?

Not a usual post from me, but more of a brief update. I have another post in the works to update you on other rather freaking humorous goings on in my life lately and that should be up soon.

For now, I hope you're all enjoying this wonderful summer so far!

Theories of Evolution

No, this is not a post on how we came to be. Better yet it's on wtf we are to become........

George Jetson, flying cars, contraptions that feed, bathe & molest your dog all in one.....Could it be?

I was once a skeptic on such a whacked out, robotic-like, 80's coming back in the WRONG way (Actually meaning it's just wrong for them to come back at all) type of future society, but the more I think about it, the more I'm shit scared of these floating neon rings & things.

(And what will the goddamn music be like?)

Sometimes it feels almost as if we've reached the pinnacle of technological advances, or rather that we don't have much further to go till we've reached the sky, but even just a short walk through history will prove that limit is infinite, way beyond the skyline when you see how far we've come.

You laugh at those poor bastards who were big in 2000, listening to The Verve in their Jnco jeans, don't you?
(Even if you were one, you're laughing) And how they were laughing at those clowns in Z Cavariccis & high tops, after those foot loose, plastic covered, Cocaine freaks whippin' it to Devo. Back to Saturday Night Fever 70's & the hippies before them they were laughing at for not breathing cocaine & having terrible taste. The soda shop, high school hop, knocked up in the back of a 57 Chevy era. Swingin' fuckin' 1940's, hello Hitler, Wtf happened here.

My great grandma was born in 1907. They had no car. but she had a horse.

"Why don't you get on your fn horse, go to the office & fax this over for me." Sounds good nowadays.

I'm just glad she wasn't here. 

SEE, what fuckin' went on before people had the internet to cure their boredom.

Technology in general. Bet you the whole thing started because some mofo couldn't call up another mofo over a misunderstanding, so the other mofo got pissed & was like "Fine, I'm just gonna fuckin' blow em' up now." Therefore, it's no doubt evolution has done much in the way of good. But what is "good" as we know it these days? We could all give ourselves goddamn brain cancer for all we know, blow ourselves up in the long run, before the science of nature even gets to us...

(Or is it the nature of science? Either way, it's one of them that's gonna say it's time to go)

I think my point here is I see things getting too strange too fast, and at the same time on the way to achieving what only seemed the wildest dreams to previous generations (all part of that strangeness). Thus, my conclusion is that we walk blindly into this headset hooked, GPS fiber-optic dog future, yet advancing at an amazingly rapid rate too fast to even keep up with.....

So wtf are the clowns ten years from now, laughing at the "in-advanced" way we're living in the present going to be/look like? And who was the asshole to run out in leggings, giant plastic jewelry & neon plastic sunglasses with a fn zebra purse like "OMG, you guys, we gotta bring this shit back!"

And who were the idiots to follow? If all your friends had sex with goats, would you?

So who had it right?........

Only time will tell...