I Didn't Realize Only You Lived Here

The rest of us must be here temporarily visiting by time travel because if other people did live on this continent, you surely wouldn't drive around with two feet of snow, or better yet, frozen solid snow or ice, on the roof of your insanely large car of destruction & doom, would you?

Because what's better than a big mechanical death machine with giant shards of killer ice hanging off of it, going 80 mph.

Now, maybe you just can't reach &/or you're in a hurry - In this case....... Well, I don't give a flying squirrel's nut sack, run and get a chair, step, anything & clean. off. the. car.


Let me introduce you to my lil friend - Extending ice scraper/snow brush.

Omg, it's like, logical thinking, on a stick!

Maybe you have a condition & limited ability in your arms & it hurts to lift em' high or do all the motions, in which case I don't know how your ass can drive, but if you can do it, you can do it. So that's when you go grab some sorry mofo off the couch to do it for you. If said mofo declines, that's when you back your car through the front of the house & into said living room, pull up next to em' & tell em' it looks like it'll just be a relaxing day at home.

(I have quick, simple solutions to every perplexing matter)

Maybe you think you just won't be that guy/chick, or maybe you're hallucinating drunk & just think the car is covered in powdered sugar, and therefore, automatically everything will be okay because who doesn't love powdered sugar, right?

 (actually, a lot of people, but that's beside the point), and maybe if you raised your hand on that last one you should have your license revoked, and probably an intervention as well.

(Or you could build a donut car & ram em' into each other. Powder devours Donut ='s Breakfast)

Maybe these people have Agoraphobia & it makes them feel safe, so maybe driving around in a big homicidal snow fort is comforting to them. I can tell you how comforting it is to the guy behind you who suddenly got a blast of powdered sugar something like a snow blower emptying out on his windshield, who has now swerved off the road, hit three pedestrians & driven through the window of a TGIFriday's.

If you need help identifying these toolbags, you probably are one. Let me show you what you look like...

Gallery of people who should have the shit slapped out of them.

That's a good hairstyle, assfuck.

"We'll get there, Rhonda. I'll use my spidey sense. I'm a fucking superhero!"

Either mama failed tragically, or somebody gave you brain damage with a bat.

I'd flip you the bird or yell at you or something, but I'm too busy running for my life from your ass, you insane disaster waiting to happen.