They Can Drive Us Insane

Sometimes they nitpick, and demand, and disapprove, and they sometimes want to make us pull our hair right out....

But we'll miss that when they're gone.

So, no matter how small or unimportant you think it may be....

There's nothing like a mother. Take this weekend to show her that, if you're fortunate enough to still have her around.

And send the BIGGEST hugs, love, and respects ever to those who do no longer.

I don't know how much longer we'll have dear ol' Betty White lil nana, but if it were less than a year, I couldn't have lived with myself if I hadn't put the smile of being loved & appreciated on her face that she'll have today when that delivery truck pulls up & rings the doorbell with this arrangement which is actually almost three times bigger than her adorable lil head. 

And you don't need to say it with flowers. You can say it with anything.

Just think about what this day means, and what a mom truly is, and make it genuine.

Regardless of the times they may make us want to stab ourselves in the face with a soldering iron, who do we call out for in pain & despair?, who do we feel inclined to call up with that remarkable, good, or even unsettling news? Who do most of us always want to turn to for that ultimate comfort or sage advice?

Who do you have to thank that you're here, and who had the strength & decency to raise you in a way that you didn't end up a serial killer?
(My apologies to the uni bomber & all those fuck faces alike. I don't know, maybe their moms were cool. Maybe Uncle Carl molested them in the closet. Wherever shit went wrong...)

Mine drives me fucking NUTS!!

(In a way that I'm surprised that I don't have a Valium gum ball machine)

But boy, am I gonna miss that when it's gone.

That's a huge understatement. I don't know what I'll do or how I'll carry on when she's not around to drive me nuts along with all the good moms do.

So, I took her for that fancy Chinese dinner, had them bring a cake to the table for her (Her b-day is right around Mother's Day), and I'm going to get her that insane list of things she wants, right down to that fucking magnolia tree, so she can always see it flower & be reminded of my unconditional love & appreciation.

This may be a humor blog, but I'm a human as well as a freak, and this is a subject/message that hits close to home & is significant to me.

Moms drive us nuts BECAUSE they want to be that #1 person in our lives, and important enough to be that person, as we were in theirs from day 1 of our very existence.

Mother's Day is really something special.

It's our time to give back, for all those diapers, tantrums, and times they stayed by our side & took care of us when we were sick & hurting. For all those fits of teen angst & worrisome nights we brought them. For all they may have had to work all those years to keep food on our tables & clothes on our backs.

And if you don't have the time &/or the resources, MAKE the time, and don't worry about the resources.

They just want to hear, know, and feel how much we love & are grateful for them. They've worked so hard loving & raising us to deserve that.

So, if she's still with you, show your mom (and your mother figures) how much she means.

So to all the moms out there...

P.S My deepest apologies if I haven't been doing much blog catching up this week. Things have been insane, hectic, and busy, but I'll be getting around to rounds this weekend. XoXo. Until then, enjoy the lovely weather, and showering mom with love.

You got every other day of the year to hide in the car/basement, and scream (maybe even cry) & pull your hair out.

This is the day you suck it up & throw that all out the window.

No Funny Here Today, I Am Sorry (Devastation Content)

No, I don't feel I should limit what I blog about if I really want to speak up about something.

Granted, nothing is better for the heart & soul like comedy, but I am a human being who lives through other emotions as well.

(If you don't like it & absolutely must laugh through everything, I'm sorry you're weird. You'll have to excuse me. I get over emotional sometimes.)

And I particularly apologize to new followers. This is not my usual content at all.

Fear.

Sadness.

Devastation.

August 29th, 2005, a dreadful day as you may remember, a category 3 hurricane (A.K.A. Katrina) struck New Orleans, Louisiana.

My ignorance held me under the impression that nothing this catastrophic could happen, and most certainly not right here in the U.S.

Your home? Your great city? The foundation on which you had built your entire life?

It was an extreme awakening for most of the country.

It CAN happen. It HAS happened to people you know & love, just like it's happened to others in other countries, and maybe now we can acquire some damn sympathy for the devastation which takes place beyond our own "turf".

(This is a problem with many Americans, don't try to deny that shit.)

At this very moment I am watching our cozy, dolled up lil anchorwomen smile & discuss this catastrophe with the look of a thrill in their eyes, as families in Japan are full of tears, pain, and utter devastation.

I'm sure a wave of debris & bodies crashing through the building & sweeping your peachy looking ass away would give you something to smile & crack jokes about.

"Winter's been tough, lemme tell ya. Hahaha!"

Fuck you, lady.

You don't know tough besides trying to find a new hairstyle that's not from 1983 & where you're gonna meet your posh ass friends for lunch this week.

(Excuse me, that pisses me off.)

Whether there was a possibility of it happening to us or not (and there is without a doubt), this country needs to develop a keener sense of empathy. As well as some major concern.

As many earthquakes & cyclones that have occurred in Haiti since the 1700's with it's last major catastrophic event recorded in 1946, "A magnitude 8.0 earthquake that struck the Dominican Republic and shook Haiti on 4 August, producing a tsunami that killed 1,790 people and injured many others." courtesy of Wikipedia...

The new & technologically advanced  (and ignorant, my honest apologies but I have been one of those people too) world saw devastation the likes of which we never thought we would - January 10th, 2010 a 7.0 earthquake hits Haiti. "An estimated three million people were affected by the quake; the Haitian government reported that an estimated 316,000 people had died, 300,000 had been injured and 1,000,000 made homeless. The death toll has also been suggested to be much lower at somewhere between 92,000 and 220,000, with around 1.5 million to 1.8 million homeless. The government of Haiti also estimated that 250,000 residences and 30,000 commercial buildings had collapsed or were severely damaged."  90% of the town at the epicenter was utterly destroyed.

(Do you think about how these people have been living when you prance out onto your tile floor in the morning, in your snuggy, and smear jelly all over your delicious fresh baked bagel? You think those people would like some of that just as you would if you were homeless, trudging through dangerous infested waters? You think about when their last meal was, when their last peaceful sleep might have been?)

And with very recent events in Japan along with reports of tsunami waves possibly headed for multiple other countries, including the west coast of The Unitied States, perhaps some will wake up a bit more now?

Right now residents of low lying U.S. communities have been urged to evacuate.

Ask yourself "How long before events like this hit someone I love or right where I live?"

"What are these people really going through as we sit here comfortably & sip our gourmet coffee watching the news?"

Do you think something may be going on with our planet, particularly over the past 10 years or so that we can ignore awareness of?

(Did you know that on Jupiter, on which there is a visible belt of various latitudes, there is a constant anticyclonic storm that may now be a permanent feature of the planet? A storm "large enough to contain two or three planets of Earth's diameter". Who knows what it once was.)

Back to the topic at hand, I felt it when it happened in NOLA. I felt it when it hit Haiti, and it's becoming evermore apparent now. Geological devastation is more rampant.

I am of the opinion something is slowly changing that we need to take heed of.

Put down the fish tacos & wake the fuck up, America. Just because it doesn't happen doesn't mean it can't, and suddenly.

How long do you think we're going to live in our lil bubble while comets & cyclones fly by & shit, not to mention the ever so popularly ignored blood spilling all over foreign soil.

Ah, I know, I got it - We're so damn special the gods built us an invisible shield dome, therefore we don't have to worry about that shit.

Fucked up as it is, it's not far from what most people believe.

I LOVE my country more than any other I could ever love, but my disappointment, and sometimes disgust, in some of its inhabitants is something I'll never at times be able to fathom.

Now, please pray for Japan, and every region affected by such tragedy in the not-so-distant pass, and all the folks it could possibly still affect.

Please feel some damn empathy for your fellow humans.

And count your blessings, people. Count your blessings. They're precious.

Be thankful you don't have to flee nor start your life from the ground up today & live through all that comes with that.

The Struggle With Life Choices

 On another more serious note...

This post would get way too long, blah & tiring if I went into great detail & branched off in every different direction for my reasoning, but there are choices I struggle with badly at times....

My natural-born inclination to be a part of the medical field for example here...

 

I have talked, walked & permeated the part since being a 5 year old in a lab coat playing with anatomy & pharmacology books, needing to learn everything there is to know. My friends & family call me "doctor" & come to me for all medical advice. I get frustrated & tell them to actually go see a real doctor after so much questioning.

But it is interesting for me to think about......

I'm into too many different things & this is another issue.

I'm a Biology nerd & I'd be happy as something along the lines of an environmental engineer or horticulturalist as well. 

Something from home is ultimately the most ideal for this lifestyle.

The medical issues I struggle with myself do not make it easier.

On another note, if you plan to become one of the people who would like to conclude that I am eligible to give proper medical advice, feel free to call: 1-800-555-GetYourselfALawyerDoctor.

The number won't work & there's nobody there to answer, but that's what you get for being within the mind frame that someone in a back alley with a hacksaw is suited to perform surgery on you.