You Be Serious

I'll be Charlie.

Because sometimes I just find it hard to be # 1, esp. when answering a bunch of questions....

So I answered a bunch of questions with absolutely NO fucking substance, at ALL, validating this very statement.....

I Am
The Real McCoy

I Want 

A rainbow margarita that shot out of a unicorn's ass.

I Have 

No idea wtf #1 means.
(Strike that. I just found out. Yeah, I'm that.  Thank you, our lord Google. Thou shalt guide us into the apocalypse & explode into the sun. *Salutes* Look, I was never fucking good with that whole religion thing. But now I suddenly want some bread.)

I Wish

I had a room wall to wall with down pillows, blankets, & stuffed animals to have adult tea parties with.

(Mr. Lizard & I would laugh till the fn sun came up. Remind me to put a lizard in there.)

I Hate 

When I honk a clown in all the right spots & he doesn't call me in the morning.

I Fear 

An army of giant mechanical robots, or dinosaurs... Or worse; either one in suits & ties with very bad hair dos, like government officials.

I Hear 

Elvis. He talks to me a lot. I love that funny fuckin' bastard.

I Search 

The plains for my detachable penis.

I Wonder 

Why they call it Wonder bread.

I Regret  

Not having any regrets.

I Love 

Shaved genitals, classic rock, kink, & berries.

I ache

That they call muenster cheese muenster cheese. I think I may have tourette's, or something like it.

.

I Always 

Go from left to right. Though, sometimes I go down > up, and feel like such a rebel all day.

I Usually  

Masturbate at an angle.

I Am Not 

Taking out your fucking trash! Take it out yourself, asshole.

I Dance 

On Sprockets, every Saturday night, since they cancelled American Bandstand.

I Sing 

Just like Fiona Apple in my mind. But probably something like Bruce Springsteen in reality.

I Never 

Try to operate chainsaws in the dark. We should put a stop to this madness!

I Rarely 

Know how to answer this effing question.

I Cry  

Chocolate sprinkles, and shit strawberry fluff.

I Am Not Always 

Temperamental. They take me to the vet for shots.

I Lose 

My innocence every time I wake up.

I'm Confused 

On what Lady GaGa came from

I Need 

Valium,or Aderall. No one can figure it out yet.

I Should 

Be myself, no matter what anyone thinks, and omfg, finish the laundry!

I Dream
Of terrible things. TERRIBLE THINGGSS! *Strobes Barbara Streisand Visuals*

For those uneducated on spooky vision.

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